I am delighted to welcome Frankie McAllister to Thought Zone. In this first guest post, Frankie agreed to talk about her project, Two Way Mirror.

Frankie writes...

Two Way Mirror explores the experience of introverts, and their particular struggles to be heard in an extrovert world.  Susan Cain puts it best in the title of her very popular book, QUIET, The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Taking.  This explores the unique perspectives and virtues of the introverted personality, including the many ways in which introversion is misunderstood and, often negatively, perceived – treated with mistrust or even suspicion.

For me, Two Way Mirror was probably my first conceptual photography project, the first time I stepped away from incidental photography to explore a personal idea, something that I wanted to take from the inside of my mind and make tangible and visible, in itself a difficult task for an introvert. And it was a sensitive subject – my initial work was in reaction to the difficulties I faced as a new (mature) photographer struggling to develop a practice. So there was anger and frustration there, and it is not always easy to share that darker more vulnerable side of ourselves or to show those emotions that we know make people uncomfortable. 

The title itself explains the essence of the project - Two Way Mirror, a mirror that you can look through to see everything, to see life enacted, but no one on the other side of the mirror can see you, you are invisible. This is a frequent experience for those who do not project themselves, who are quieter or more reticent. I became more and more conscious of this feeling and of the sense I had of floating through people without a ripple, unheard and unseen, like a ghost, leaving not a trace behind. This led to the title and from there, to exploring the experience more objectively. And also to recognise that despite how isolating this felt personally, it was far from a unique experience.

How do you photograph a feeling?

How do you do that? How do you make sense of it and how do you really know what other people feel?  Perhaps it’s not so easy for anyone?  We are all at different points on the massive mutable sliding scale of what it is to be human and alive.  And, in a world that is adapted primarily to the extrovert (at least in this epoch and in the Western half of the globe), it can be difficult for those towards the other end of the spectrum to flourish and be seen, despite introverts comprising about a third of the population.  And what is an introvert?  Everyone, up to a point, feels more on the inside than ever shows on the outside and we are, most of us, a bit of a mixture of the two. Being an extrovert doesn’t automatically mean you’re super confident in every way either, extroverts have their frailties, their worries and their sore spots too! I think of the ‘scale’ as being more of a multi-layered mixing desk than a single control; multiple channels that all need to be adjusted and tweaked all the time to maintain balance, but which sometimes just can’t be. By definition, the louder voices will always be heard first and most often, this distorts things and skews the way we all operate and what we all consider ‘normal’ or desirable behaviour.  It silences the different and denies us the input, the many benefits, ideas, points of view, of the introvert. In self-defence many introverts feel they need to adapt and to emulate more outgoing behaviours, ways of being that are not natural to them, and that’s a strain. If we don’t make the space and the time, we will not hear all the voices; the real voices, people as they are with all their different ways of doing and seeing – it all needs to be factored into how life is lived and how things are.  But as long as room is given, then we can all bring something to the party and there are many situations when a more thoughtful or reflective approach is preferable. Particularly now, when we live in a world of sound bites and knee-jerk reactions, more nuance and consideration, thought before action, must surely be a good thing?

 My personal experience as an introvert is that I am actually quite social, but only for limited periods. Social interactions usually involve a lot of processing, a lot of consideration before reacting, and what to say next– a million micro assessments performed in a nanosecond creating a minute imperceptible delay, a constant filtering of impressions that can sometimes be exhausting.  It can make conversations a bit stilted too, especially if, like me, you’re wondering how to end things, looking for the way out. Often, when speaking with introverts, you notice that tiny delay – it creates a distortion of aural punctuation, which in turn subtly alters the social dynamic of conversation, making it less easy and natural. It happens on a subconscious level mostly, but essentially, it makes things hard work.  However, it probably makes us more aware of other people’s behaviour and feelings too, more empathetic.

Depicting the sense of isolation, darkness and invisibility

Trying to manifest these thoughts into a piece of visual work was a challenge.  I chose to concentrate on the shadows, images depicting the sense of isolation, darkness and invisibility, and also constraint; that sensation of being almost trapped in a personality. A constraint that sometimes doesn’t serve your interests, trapped by shyness or lack of confidence, unable to take logical next actions because you just couldn’t; or trying to squeeze yourself into a shape that didn’t fit. And lastly the brashness of some situations, the feeling of an assault on your senses sometimes, that everything is loud and harsh and going too fast, becoming overwhelming.  These were the principal perceptions I pulled out of the amorphous cloud of the overall experience, and which I also thought could be depicted visually. I isolated these elements through writing, almost as stream of consciousness, which then developed into a sort of rudimentary poetry, and it was immensely helpful in distilling the core aspects of what I was trying to identify. You can see a few selected images from this evolving work in the gallery.

What next?

Having put the project to one side a couple of years ago, I am now revisiting it with a slightly different perspective and the aim is to create a photobook of images and a small amount of text. I will retain the black and white treatment and the quiet aesthetic, as to me that is actually part of the project; to express something meaningful and personal but to do it quietly and not be ashamed of the quietness.

If this interests you please visit Frankie McAllister’s website where you can learn more about Frankie’s background and the outlook behind this work.

All images copyright Frankie McAllister 2024.

Useful references:

1.     QUIET, The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking - Susan Cain

2.     SHRINKING VIOLETS – The Secret Life of Shyness – Joe Moran